It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
