I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
