Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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