There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
