Will you blow on my dice?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
