Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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