We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
