Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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