ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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