you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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