We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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