i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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