Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
