Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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