O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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