He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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