I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
