they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize