Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
