If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
