apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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