Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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