What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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