In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
