but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
