Those balls look pretty dangerous.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You ruined the universe
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
