dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Even my vagina gasped.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize