Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Come on in and take your pants off
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