chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
