Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
