I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
