I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
