I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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