My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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