i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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