Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
