i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
