Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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