It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
