her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
