dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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