She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
