at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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