Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
