I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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