i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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