Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
