remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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