I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
