then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
