I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
