we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
