so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
