I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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