I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
