i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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