Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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